45 days to go :)

Along with this being the start of the new version of my blog it is also 45 days until I get married :)

This is naturally very exciting! My plan is to keep updating this blog whenever I get round to it in the run up to the big day and beyond, however my previous lack of success with blogging makes me think I might not be as good as I'm planning on being!

But anyway, its 45 days until the wedding and its all getting very close and very exciting and things seem to be falling in to place, we have chosen our food for the reception, sorted out what everyone is wearing, done basically everything except get married, oh and I still need to start my speech, which given how i keep putting it off, is not likely to be started until the friday before (but dont tell Han that!)

I still cant get my head around the fact that in 45 days I'll be married and will be starting my own little family with my beautiful fiance (wife by then!) Han :)

One of the biggest things that I have been thinking/worrying about is the fact that Han has now graduated (very proud of her for that!) and as such is looking for a job, which as anyone who is aware of the current economic job climate, is easy said than done, and obviously as I will still be an undergraduate Han will be the bread winner for us, so no job means no money coming in!

However yesterday I was at my cell group and I felt God reminding me of the verse in Matthew where Jesus talks about not worrying about material things:

^"25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. " Matthew 6:25-27; 32-33

And so it got me thinking, I spend a large amount of time looking for jobs online, pestering Han into applying for them and worrying about how we will survive once we are married and have to be financially independent. But instead I should actually be focusing on things that are more eternally significant.

I've spent the last 24 hours or so reflecting on this and just thinking again that God is amazing and knows exactly what we are going through and is there for us to help us through it, and I feel much more at peace about everything now than I was before. I should point out that this doesnt mean that I'm not gonna keep looking for jobs and trying to convince Han to apply for them, because I think there is an element of us having to take responsibility in things like this instead of just "letting go and letting God" as a saying I once heard goes, but I know that at the end of the day its ultimately not my responsibility to sort out a job for Han or to work out how we are going to get through the next year or so on only one salary, because God has said focus on my kingdom and I'll give you the earthly things you need (my paraphrase!). I should point out here that He isnt saying I'll give you everything you want, or even everything you think you need, but thats could easily become a whole new blog right there!

So yeah, my challenge for the week, along with work and training for a race on Sunday that I am hopelessly unprepared for, is to focus on the kingdom of God and not on all the panic inducing things that I think need sorting out!